Everyone hanging in there during 2020?

About 5 months into quarantine and social distancing, it seems like we should all be going bonkers by now, right?

Maybe, but maybe not.

Hopefully, it’s a time that’s pushing your “creative side” to come up with something fun and new to do, like a safe “getaway”, appreciating each other, trying new recipes, conducting kid friendly science experiments, memorizing scripture, organizing your rooms and getting rid of things.

Despite the uncertainties in the world, I have seen people being more generous, more helpful to neighbors, schools and people giving a generous amount of food, more praying, people keeping in touch with one another more than ever (via phone calls, social media, drive-by celebrations, video call), more excited about car rides, occasional take out, and of course, getting packages delivered .

Here are some historical reminders of people who went through a trying time:

• Anne Frank hid in an attic for 761 days.
• Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights.
• Joseph was sold as a slave by his own brothers as a young man and waited to see them again when he was royalty, in which there was 7 years of famine.
• Noah and his family were on the ark for 360-370 days.

There are so many more significant events that I didn’t mention. If you can think of anymore examples, please feel free to add to the post.

Staying positive in all this mess

Sometimes it’s hard to stay positive when the world is so negative, and maybe even with all the different characters in your own household. It’s true, we’re human, and our surroundings can affect us.

However, what we can control is our perspective.

t’s almost like forcing yourself to come up with something positive about a situation or circumstance. When my kids get into their “super energy mode”, I give thanks that I know exactly where they are and that they are healthy kids that are capable of that much energy. When I get frustrated about having to repeat myself or not feeling heard, I have to force myself to think of all the times that the person contributes without having to be asked.

Whether it’s someone or something in your life or in the world, here are some of my favorite verses to keep me going:

• “Taste and see the Lord is good. How happy is the person who takes refuge in him.” -Psalms 34:8
• “The Lord is good, a stronghold in a day of distress; he cares for those who take refuge in him.” -Nahum 1:7
• “Therefore, we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.” -2 Corinthians 4:16
• “Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for you are with me; your rod and your staff – they comfort me.” -Psalms 23:4
• “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” -2 Corinthians 1:3-4
• “Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable – if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praise worthy – dwell on these things.” -Philippians 4:8
• For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” -2 Timothy 1:7

No matter how old your child is, you should attempt to let them know that you love them on a regular basis, both verbally (saying “I love you” and “How was your math test?”) and physically (hugging them, a touch on the hand, eye contact). The younger you start the affection, the better.

Things you can do to help your child feel “Loved”:

• Tell them you love them (and mean it! Try to look into their eyes when you say it).
• Hug them (if they feel comfortable).
• Let them know that they’re valued. (Compliment them on their positive contributions with REAL examples, and let them know they are unique and created for a valuable purpose).
• Take the time to listen to them, without being quick to judge (This can be during mealtime, taking a walk, sitting down on the couch, playing a board game, putting the dishes away).
• Spend time with them. We can always tell ourselves that there’s not much time to spare, but just like a doctor’s appointment or work meeting, we can schedule time for our kids also, or find time in between just to check in.
• Of course the saying goes “Actions speak louder than words”, so the real test is during times that are challenging, you know, when you’re at your wits end. It seems like we have those days on a daily basis, doesn’t it?

When someone is pushing you to the edge, do you respond with grace, or our natural human instinct of explosion? This is definitely a hard thing to master, and does take practice. (A lot of it!) Showing self-control and grace is also ways to show your love.

If you do feel like you didn’t handle things the best way, give yourself grace as well because you are also human, and the next best thing is to take a breath and try again.

Sometimes it’s the small things that we miss, so give your child a chance to be able to connect with you in a healthy way. Help them gain the ability to form healthy relationships with others.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” -Ephesians 4:2-