No matter how old your child is, you should attempt to let them know that you love them on a regular basis, both verbally (saying “I love you” and “How was your math test?”) and physically (hugging them, a touch on the hand, eye contact). The younger you start the affection, the better.
Things you can do to help your child feel “Loved”:
- Tell them you love them (and mean it! Try to look into their eyes when you say it).
- Hug them (if they feel comfortable).
- Let them know that they’re valued. (Compliment them on their positive contributions with REAL examples, and let them know they are unique and created for a valuable purpose).
- Take the time to listen to them, without being quick to judge (This can be during mealtime, taking a walk, sitting down on the couch, playing a board game, putting the dishes away).
- Spend time with them. We can always tell ourselves that there’s not much time to spare, but just like a doctor’s appointment or work meeting, we can schedule time for our kids also, or find time in between just to check in.
- Of course the saying goes “Actions speak louder than words”, so the real test is during times that are challenging, you know, when you’re at your wits end. It seems like we have those days on a daily basis, doesn’t it?
When someone is pushing you to the edge, do you respond with grace, or our natural human instinct of explosion? This is definitely a hard thing to master, and does take practice. (A lot of it!) Showing self-control and grace is also ways to show your love.
If you do feel like you didn’t handle things the best way, give yourself grace as well because you are also human, and the next best thing is to take a breath and try again.
Sometimes it’s the small things that we miss, so give your child a chance to be able to connect with you in a healthy way. Help them gain the ability to form healthy relationships with others.
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” -Ephesians 4:2-